Facepalm- One Shot
by ShandyCandy278
Summary: A theory that I had when only season one was out. I was trying to explain away why they could be so oblivious without the help of magic, so I came up with this. It is very face-palm worthy, hence the name. Enjoy!


She wasn't dumb, and she wasn't an idiot.

As she looked upon one of the many Adrien posters in her room, she thought happily to herself just how oblivious she had been acting.

There had always been a chance, she had admitted to herself, that the boy who sat in front of her and her partner were one in the same. She just refused to admit it to anyone else.

As the days passed, Marinette realized just how much more likely it was that Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir. Although his behaviour had never been seen until the beginning of that year, she was positive that if he wasn't Chat Noir, he would've acted very differently. On time for class, not having to use the restroom so much, and other subtle hints.

It wasn't all that hard to fall for him that second day under the umbrella. If she was being honest, that was when she had realized that they could be the same. It sounded just like Chat Noir to do that to try and ask for forgiveness.

But secret identities were to remain secret.

So she overly-stuttered and tripped over her own feet in front of him, using her crush on him as an excuse for drawing away the resemblance between her and Ladybug. It was actually pretty easy to do- his father _was_ Gabriel Agreste after all. All it took was a single thought of the cold-hearted and intimidating man and she was stuttering.

The blush came from remembering what he looked like in a leather catsuit. Although his puns would be much-more appreciated outside of akuma battle.

And then today happened.

Marinette frowned, remembering how close Alya had been. Although Marinette was 99.99% certain, having Alya figure the most likely out would _not_ bode well. So she denied it adamantly, insisting that there was _no way_ that Adrien could be Chat Noir.

After all, if she was right, then she would have to protect her partner's identity as well as her own, and that meant dispelling any suspicions Alya had.

She hated lying to her friend, but it was a necessity.

After all, she wasn't dumb.

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He wasn't dumb, and he wasn't an idiot.

As he stared up at the ceiling from his bed, listening to Plagg's snores, he thought with a satisfied smirk how well he had been acting.

There had always been a chance, as he had told Plagg before, and that chance only grew larger and larger as the days passed.

He was 99.99% sure that Marinette was his Lady.

It wasn't hard to fall during that first-at chance- meeting, with the yoyo tying them together upside down and hanging from his pole.

It was his first taste of freedom as well, so he had chalked up his rapid heartbeat to the nervousness of his father possibly finding out.

It wasn't all that long later that he had met Marinette. She bore a such a strong resemblance to Ladybug with both her looks and personality that he was speechless and couldn't defend himself when she accused him of placing the gum he had been trying to get off.

So, if she was his lady, he decided that he would focus on getting at least on side of him in her good graces- so that he could have a chance.

But that hadn't really been enough, so he had apologized to her with the umbrella. She looked so cute.

But she probably only saw him as a friend, so he kept telling himself that they were just friends.

That was, until _that_ day.

He frowned, remembering the huge hint that Ladybug had accidentally let drop. A history book- of all things, a _history book_ that she had dropped in her rush.

Alya had been so close to figuring out her identity.

It didn't take all that much to hide his own- he just had to be 'Gabriel's son' as Adrien. Act as the old Adrien would- before all of this mess started. He would have to watch out for her as well- maybe even by being oblivious to the way that she acted around him, and by telling Nino some theories about who Ladybug could be. They were usually pretty close, but far away from being _spot_ on at the same time.

He smirked at the pun.

And then his smirk dropped. He sat up in bed to look out the window.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was also almost certain on another secret identity- Hawkmoths.

Even though his father was often gone from his life, Adrien wasn't deaf or blind. He often saw his father subtly rubbing what could be the moth miraculous, or heard him discussing plans of 'projects' with Nathalie when he walked to the kitchen for some Camembert for Plagg. His father also began to carry a small scent of Cinnamon Rolls whereas he usually smelled of mint. A scent change would only happen like that if he was in contact with the food almost every day.

He didn't like the idea of it, but it was slowly creeping towards an 85% chance that he was the supervillain plaguing the streets of Paris.

Adrien also knew his father's schedule since he had asked Nathalie on occasion what his father was doing that day. Every time Adrien planned to spend some time with his father that was scheduled as free, Gabriel would suddenly claim that he was busy and not come. And then an akuma would arrive. It only confirmed his thoughts, as he had only started doing this when Hawkmoth came into Paris.

He just didn't know if he could tell Ladybug or not- if he should. What would he say? How would it go down? Was he even ready for it to go down?

Only time would tell.

After all, he wasn't an idiot.

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He was all-knowing. He knew this, as he had studied several different things over and over again, sometimes starting on a new subject, while other times reviewing things that he had learned a long time ago.

But this…

This was frustrating.

As Gabriel glared at his map, he could practically feel the universe laughing at him.

On the map, he had pinned to coordinates of each and every one of his akumas, and how quickly Ladybug and Chat Noir had arrived on the scene. He got that they either lived close to, or attended, his son's school.

But they kept on eluding him!

Their identities, anyway.

He couldn't ask Adrien (the boy was obviously one of his enemy's greatest fans) and Nathalie refused to help him any further than notifying him of anyone who could be akumatized, so he was left on his own in the dark on the superhero's identities.

He was one of the best fashion Designers in Europe for crying out loud! He had such an eye for detail that he knew everything about practically anyone he met during the first few interactions!

And yet, he had absolutely no idea who they could be.

He was reluctant when he allowed Adrien to go to public school, with his plans for sending out akumas and making Paris dangerous in the process of obtaining the Miraculous. But his concern was lifted when he realized that Ladybug was certainly protective of his son.

But he was all-knowing.

He would figure it out.


End file.
